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We have many Pastors toiling tirelessly to become successful in their chosen profession. Their motives may be pure but their families often suffer because of their commitment and dedication to a pipe dream that goes far beyond the call of duty. God never expects this so we cannot excuse our dereliction of duty as husband and father on serving our church. Dedicated to success, many left gapping holes in the walls of their homes. Responding to the excessive demands of hierarchy higher up the pecking order of their pyramid; driven by their own ambition; and on top of this having to tend bleating sheep under them something was bound to suffer. It’s so sad what misdirected service has done too many families and is still doing today. The number of casualties is incalculable. The failure of fathers to put their families before their ministry has often caused great harm to their children and sorrow upon sorrow for themselves as parents. The evidence is overwhelming.

I am not saying you shouldn’t be involved in the Kings business, but your priorities must be lovingly established and scripturally sound. “Take heed to yourselves”. Acts 20: 28-38.
I challenge you to take a good look into the homes of those you have entrusted the spiritual welfare of your family too. What do you see? Are you comforted by it? Do you believe you have done the right thing? Has all that time spent attending services strengthened your family life? Do you believe your family is closer to the Lord and one another by allowing the service of the sanctuaries of men render your fatherhood impotent? Did it ever dawn of you that it might be having a detrimental effect? Would your wife and children like to see more of you around the home? What do you think God wants you to do about it? To the rest, don’t use your business as an excuse either.

By the time you’ve made enough money to take it easy with the family they will be well and truly gone; perhaps they couldn’t go quick enough because they felt more than a little neglected, or pushed into the background for the sake of your church ministry. What about your plans then? Get a God life while you still can.
We sold our home before it was too late and went to America. Then we purchased a 28ft motor home; pulled a station wagon behind it and travelled thousands of miles around North America for 18 months. No it was not irresponsible, it was right for us.
Know them that labour among you says Paul. How often the following has been played out before our eyes by those who claim to stand in His stead and insist God has given them authority to rule over us, while their own families were a shambles. The use of the devilish doctrine of “covering” by clerics has coward many saints into submission.

Fathers have been delegated by God to constitute their families in a way that ensures they will follow the Lord. Church leaders override His instructions and insist that they submit to them and come under their covering. I would be like to be a fly on the wall in some of the homes of these cleric’s and find out what really takes place there.
1 Samuel 2:22-24 Now Eli was very old; and he heard all that his sons did unto all Israel, and how that they lay with the women that did service at the door of the tent of meeting. And he said unto them, why do you such things for I hear of your evil dealings from all the people. Nay, my sons; for it is no good report that I hear: ye make Jehovah's people to transgress.

How could this be said of Eli? But hold on now, this should never be said about any children of the followers of Christ. Eli must have spent many fretful hours sitting on his seat by the tabernacle of God contemplating what he should do as reports came constantly to his ears regards what his sons of Belial were doing. They were lying with women in the courts of the house of God. They were gorging themselves on God’s portion of the offerings taken from the house of God.

But it’s too late now Eli (preacher) you lost the chance to be priest in your home when you chose to climb the religious ladder. And now the children have kicked over the traces and bolted. It’s highly unlikely that you will ever get a better chance than the one God gave to you when first they saw the light of day. Perhaps if you had done it when they were little you could have talked to them when they became teenagers.

1 Samuel 3:13. For I have told him that I will judge his house for ever, for the iniquity which he knew, because his sons did bring a curse upon themselves and he restrained them not.
I know you are very busy in the Kings service, so was Eli.
He held the two highest Offices in the land. He Judged Israel; and was the nations High Priest.

He was a very busy man. So Dr, pastor, prophet, evangelist, elder, deacon, or whatever other title you go by don’t make the workload an excuse for abdicating your primary role as Father. It won’t wash with God on that day when we all must give account to Him? Well I suppose you could blame God for the mess you’re in. They insisted that they were relying on you; and of course if you wanted to rise in the pyramid and become its capstone, you absolutely had to get involved? I think it was one of the reasons why some got divorced. They told me I was helping to hold it all together so what else could I do? But shouldn’t I give my full attention to the prophecies spoken over me by the travelling prophetic circus? We were told to meditate in our prophecies day and night. Besides we must be about the movements business. Did I hear you say, you made a covenant with the Pastor to serve him? Did you say you attended a series he took on commitment and signed up afterwards because he convinced you this was the right thing to do? You didn’t sign a bit of paper too did you? You really are a complete moron aren’t you! The wife and children God gave you are you’re chief assignment. Get committed to them, and don’t foul it up.
Did you say you’re the treasurer? And you’re on the building committee as well and they can’t do without you, but evidently your family can. Look here’s the Sunday School Superintendent, thank God for the Sunday school. They’ll take a load of responsibility off my mind. Some prophets (?) came to church and prophesied over me I’m Pastor’s “armour bearer”. For crying out loud let the lazy hound carry his own sword.
Then there are missionaries to support; sending finances to save the heathen and their children. What about your children, your flesh and blood? Where are they tonight?

Father, were you there to tuck them into bed at night and pray with them? Did you instruct them in the ways of righteousness? What about your grandchildren?
Did you make it interesting when you talked to them about Jesus so that they wanted to know more?
Exodus 12:25-28 “and when you come into the land, and when your children say to you, what is the reason of this act of worship? Then you will say, this is the offering of the Lord's Passover; for he went over the houses of the children of Israel in Egypt, when he sent death on the Egyptians, and kept our families safe. And the people gave worship with bent heads. And the children of Israel went and did so; as the Lord had given orders to Moses and Aaron, so they did”.

That’s why we should break bread in our homes; because it’s an opportunity to tell the gospel story.
One of my sons told me that as a young boy he resented my being in the ministry because I was never around but always at services. He (rightly) felt the church had taken me away from him. It’s a two way street, bad congregations help make bad pastors; make no mistake about that.
So what did we do? Anne I and the family talked things over with the Lord; and then ran it by a close friend. The result was we sold our home; went to the US; purchased a 28ft motor home, and lived in it while we travelled all over North America. If we hadn’t done that I believe we might have lost our children. Besides we had a quiver full to consider.

Did I hear you say you would like to do something about it but you’re too busy, and the church needs you? Honestly, you’re not that important believe me. But if you really think you are; then your not very humble either are you? You say my wife can teach the children; right? But she says she involved in the sisters bible study and prayer meetings for the missionaries. It’s simply not possible to fit everything in? Well that’s the first truthful thing you’ve said since we began this discussion. Get real and save your home first. After you do that He’ll find plenty of worthwhile things for you to do.

They told us that involvement in the work of the Lord was the most important aspect of our life.
The problem with this was we were always out of the house attending meetings. We were encouraged to attend every activity the church was involved in. The real reason behind this was to keep us from worldly pursuits, or going somewhere they didn’t approve of, like the church down the road. They told us we would all backslide if we didn’t remain under their covering. So they sanctified us with services, prayer meetings, programs and threats.

Take heed therefore unto yourselves, FIRST and to all the flock, over which the Holy Ghost hath made you overseers, to feed the congregation of God, which he hath purchased with his own blood. For I know this, that after my departing shall grievous wolves enter in among you, not sparing the flock. Also of your own selves shall men arise, speaking perverse things, to draw away disciples after themselves?
Therefore watch, and remember, that by the space of three years I ceased not to warn every one night and day with tears. And now, brethren, I commend you to God, and to the word of his grace, which is able to build you up, and give you an inheritance among all them which are sanctified. I have coveted no man's silver, or gold, or apparel. Yea, ye yourselves know, that these hands have ministered unto my necessities, and to them that were with me. I have shown you all things, how that so labouring ye ought to support the weak, and to remember the words of the Lord Jesus, how he said, It is more blessed to give than to receive. And when he had thus spoken, he kneeled down, and prayed with them all. And they all wept sore, and fell on Paul's neck, and kissed him, Sorrowing most of all for the words which he spoke, that they should see his face no more. And they accompanied him unto the ship. (Acts 20:28-38) (KJV)

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